Committed Relationships

Are you tired of being the bad ‘guy’ in the committed relationship when it heads south? Perhaps the word commitment scares you and you high tail it out of the relationship when you hear those words. You are not alone as commitment scares many people out of good relationships on a daily basis. However, please know the word commitment means different things to everyone.

The number one reason marriages or committed relationships flounder or break entirely is the lack of commitment and open honest communication within the relationship. How is one to know what type of commitment the other is looking for if it’s not communicated about.

So exactly what is commitment? That answer depends on whom you ask the commitment question. The answer varies from male to female and even person-to-person. There are different answers between people who are dating long term, living together and marriages. About the only type of romantic relationship where there is no commitment is casual dating.

There seems to be several levels of commitment for couples. Couples who are dating long term but do not live together have one type of commitment, while couples who live together have another type. Each type of relationship has its own level of companionship but the one thing that ties them together is open honest communication. Without that, a relationship is nothing.

It’s hard for dating couples at times to reach that level of open communication. However hard it might be, it needs to be done or you will find your self in a troubled relationship which if not rectified does spell the end of the relationship.

Talk with the one you love and see what commitment means to them. Once you are on the same page so to speak, the relationship may get better.

Aviod Break Ups

Everyone who is in a romantic relationship wishes to feel as if he or she is a priority rather than an option. Once you let friends, family, hobbies, or work become more important than your significant other the relationship begins to flounder.

How do you save a relationship once it begins to crumble?

Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with the one you love. Begin spending quality time together.

Spending quality time together is very important, and quality time is much better than quantity in this case. Quality time is time when you are spent enjoying being together and sex is optional. There are many things a couple can do together that are free to low cost such as taking a walk together, sitting down and watching a movie or going to a concert in the park.

Quantity time is great if you get along, however a couple does need time apart from any relationship no matter how good it is. Taking time away from each other gives the couple a chance to be themselves. This does not mean that couples should spend days or weeks apart, but after an absence, it makes the heart grow fonder.

Remember

1.) Seeing your significant other once a month even thought you live close by and talk to her or him daily does not mean its quality time.

2.) Putting work, friends, hobbies, etc above your significant other does not cut it either. Even if your significant other tells you, they understand chances are they are simmering in the background.

3.) If you have a problem with your significant other chose to talk with them rather than talking to mutual friends.

4.) If you work a lot be sure to spend quality time with your significant other as you can. Do not allow 3 or 4 days to go by without physically seeing them or the relationship will go south.

5.) Sit down across from each other and talk, it will do wonders for your relationship.

Aviod Serial Dating

Some women get right out there and begin dating while their heart is still reeling from the shock of the failed relationship. Instead of jumping back in the frying pan, find yourself once more. There are plenty of ways to keep yourself busy while your heart is mending.

1.) Get out and enjoy a new hobby. This works wonders for your sense of well being after you experience a breakup. Crafts are always a good idea!

2.) Read a book or better yet write one! Anyone can write a book and once completed they can publish it online.

3.) Go to church if you like that sort of thing or begin to volunteer at a local organization, which needs volunteers. Food banks, libraries, habitat for Humanity, and local community agencies can always use volunteers.

4.) Sit down and write out your feelings. This not only allows you to vent but seeing your words in black and white will show you why the relationship failed and why it’s better to leave it alone. Venting also is good to keep stress levels down.

5.) Figure out what it is that you enjoyed pre-him and do it again. That will help heal your heart and help you get over him.

6.) Join an online forum to talk with others about a hobby, work or simply to make new friends. The Internet is full of forums on a wide array of topics that can help on mend a broken heart.

7.) Throw yourself into work. If that does not keep you busy, I do not know what will.

8.) Get out there and start dating when you feel like it, but take the time to find yourself and figure out what you want out of a relationship before you jump back in.

9.) Pack his crap if anything is at your house and set it on the porch. Give him a few days to remove it and if he does not remove it, take it to Good Will.

10.) Get out into the world and have some fun. Go parasailing with friends, take a class at a community college, or simply go out for a few drinks with the girls.

Do not sit and cry over that man. Chances are you’ve already cried enough over his antics and wasted enough time that way.

Can you make someone fall in love?

I do not think you can ever truly make a person love you, but you certainly can be everything that person desires and that would make you very love-able for someone else. You cannot change your self into what that person wants you to be if it is to be a loving relationship, for we all know that we need to be ourselves in any relationship.

You can make a cake that someone will love but that love will only last as long as the person is eating the cake. When the cake is gone, so will the love of that cake, until you of course make it again.

Making someone love you works the same way, once you stop being what the person desires the love is gone. Except of course, you keep up inventing your self, as you would bake a cake and that is not healthy relationship.

It would be exhausting for you to say the least this is why it is always important to be your self as it is less work. I am not saying do not change yourself, I am saying compromise goes a long way in a relationship, as long as the compromise is a two way street.

If the one you love is a racing fan, agree to disagree that it is the best sport. If you enjoy skiing but he does not, then again agree to disagree that this is the best sport. He fell in love with who he thought you were do not change your self to try to make him love you, as that is not what he fell in love with.

Falling in love is like a beautiful flower that needs sunlight, water, the right nutrients, and the desire to grow. Falling in love in a natural thing, and cannot be made to happen no matter how hard you try, love needs the right natural conditions as well, and the desire by both people to allow it to grow from a friendship to a love.

Just as you cannot force the flower to grow, you cannot make love grow. True love, like a flower needs to be natural in order to grow, sure you can pull weeds around a flower as you can pull bad situations from a person but that is not going to make the wild natural flower any prettier, as it will not make love any stronger. The wildflower needs weeds to be beautiful, for without the weeds it is just another flower.

You cannot make a person love you no matter how hard you try, but it seems as if this society if full of those people who believe that common myth. You can make many things within the world such make babies, make supper, make love but you can never make someone love you because humans have a thing called free will.

Free will enables us all to make choices good or bad that affect our lives and the lives around us. Free will is given to all humans and this is why you cannot make someone fall in love with you.

There is the saying that you cannot hurry love, and this is true, but so it the saying that you cannot make a person fall in love with you, free will allows us all the choice to fall in love or not fall in love.

Love or Lust - What is Your Relationship?

Is your relationship true love or could it be just lust, and does it have lasting power to endure a lifetime? People often ask this question once they begin a new relationship, and unbelievably there is a simple answer for this age-old question.

The first truth is if you are specifically looking for love all you will find is lust, sadly for everyone actually seeking a true love that is a reality. True love will discover you, and it will not let a person go no matter how firmly the person attempts to shove it away, that is a fundamental truth.

True love feels like magic, while lust will only make you wish you had the magic, if you have to push a relationship hard it is lust without a doubt. True love it will come easily over time it is a magic that cannot be pushed, and true love and lust will both leave you craving more, but what you desire is different.

True love will discover you even when you are not searching for it, and it will blow you off your feet and turn the world, as you know it upside down. While lust will make you breathless for an hour or so if you are fortunate, true love with leave you breathless with each kiss or touch over the lifetime of a relationship.

True love will leave you breathless, and as if you want to learn about your partner on every level, lust on the other hand will leave you feeling like you need to quench the thirst in your loins.

In true love, the sexual gratification is part of the relationship while in a lustful relationship is the only thing that is sought. You deserve the whole enchilada and should never reconcile for just lust, when the real magic of true love is out there for every one.

Lust is looking at someone whom has attractive qualities, you want those qualities, while with a true love, you look at your partner, and you want the whole package faults as well as the golden qualities.
Lust is waking up with some one who is a transient fancy, and true love is as waking up beside your best friend for the rest of your life there is no contest there.

True love is unconditional, and needs no words, while lust is all about excuses, conditional and very little words from the heart. With true love, there are no requirements to make excuses to ourselves or to others regarding the actions of our partner. A person who is truly in love with us while never just blow us off, or put the needs of others before us at any time.

True love is something we all want and sometimes we can actually find it, but it is always found accidentally. Love is not something you will discover as if you were seeking a misplaced set of keys, or a lost dog no matter how extraordinary that dog is.

True love knows no restrictions it will discover us when the conditions are right, and not when the planets are lined up properly and it is everlasting, ever changing, and ever growing.

True love is sitting quietly without words and enjoying time spend watching the world go by, it is walking hand in hand in the suns warmth, and under the moon's glow, love is always present and never falling by the wayside when something better comes along.

Finally yet importantly, lust is for a small amount of seasons, while true love is for the duration of the seasons omnipresent and enduring.

Sex Before Marriage? Immoral or Good for the Soul?

Everyone seems to debate the question about having sex before marriage, and yes, I think this is fine as long as it is done with someone you love; therefore, you are making love and not just having sex. Sex is sex, but making love adds a completely new dimension that that is acceptable before marriage.

There is a huge difference between making love and having sex according to the general populace of the world. Anyone who just goes out seeking to be laid is looking for sexual gratification; this includes single as well as married people. These people seek sexual gratification from others in their community for the thrill of it, and most of it has something to do with sexual addictions or unfilled wants at home.

If you love someone completely you are making love and not having sex, and that is the big difference. Having sex is a wonderful part of any loving relationship, so it is acceptable to have sex before marriage in my views if you are in a loving relationship with the person. Making love is merely another way of spending quality time together; it is restful, peaceful, and exhilarating.

If sex was just sex, that would be different but making love before marriage is a great way to express to the one you love, just how much you care for them. In many ways, it does say I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I need you.

When children see a loving couple married or not they are being sent a strong positive message about the benefits of a healthy happy relationship. As long as the sexual part of the relationship is not being shown to, the child everything is fine and a loving couple married or not is sending the right message to the children.

In today's society with so many broken marriages caused by infidelity, many dating couples who care deeply for each other are not willing to take the legal steps and find them selves back in divorce court. Does this mean they should not express the love the feel for each other? Of course, not they should express love any way they choose to express it. Just because they are scared of the past does not mean they cannot move ahead with their future.

In marriages where the couple is staying together only for legal reasons or the children, making love becomes sex, which is wrong of course. It is wrong because those parents clearly do not love each other, there for it is merely sex.

  When those parents seek sexual gratification, outside the marriage, it is called and it is wrong of course. However, it does happen at alarming rates creating broken marriages etc. When those parents are out seeking sex everywhere it causes a huge problem for the children and sends many mixed messages.