Males who are not Dating Material

How many times have you started dating mister perfect only to discover a few years down the road he was mister so not perfect? I think we have all been there, done that and some of us women keep going right back for more of the same stuff. Here are three types of men you never want to date.

We need to break that cycle and learn how to not date these guys! Yes, I am fully aware that guys also face this dilemma but this page is for the women! The first step is breaking the cycle is to figure out what type of men are out there and then learn why they are not good to date.

This guy thinks he knows why the sun sets, why the boss is doing everything wrong and he even knows when the world will end. He will go to great links to tell you why you should apply for a new job, how you should dress, and how to decorate your house. He knows everything and when you first begin dating, it appears he is well educated and very knowledgeable about life.

After a while of dating, the woman soon realizes that things are not adding up and tries to tell him. That is when the battle begins. Most men who think they know everything think a woman is dumb.

Mr. Competitive

He is doing all types of sports, and he pushes himself to extreme to be the best he can be.

Women see the sexy abs and lust wants a piece of that action.

After awhile you see he is too far into himself.

Mr. Let me help you

This guy wants to help you every way possible. He offers to mow the lawn, help with getting you a different job and wants to make other changes in your life that seem on the level at first.

He is actually trying to mold you into his own likeness. He prefers his woman to be very dependent on him. This is a form of control.

Run for the hills if one of these guys comes around. No man should ever change you or control you and for that matter no woman should change a man into her likeliness either.

Committed Relationships

Are you tired of being the bad ‘guy’ in the committed relationship when it heads south? Perhaps the word commitment scares you and you high tail it out of the relationship when you hear those words. You are not alone as commitment scares many people out of good relationships on a daily basis. However, please know the word commitment means different things to everyone.

The number one reason marriages or committed relationships flounder or break entirely is the lack of commitment and open honest communication within the relationship. How is one to know what type of commitment the other is looking for if it’s not communicated about.

So exactly what is commitment? That answer depends on whom you ask the commitment question. The answer varies from male to female and even person-to-person. There are different answers between people who are dating long term, living together and marriages. About the only type of romantic relationship where there is no commitment is casual dating.

There seems to be several levels of commitment for couples. Couples who are dating long term but do not live together have one type of commitment, while couples who live together have another type. Each type of relationship has its own level of companionship but the one thing that ties them together is open honest communication. Without that, a relationship is nothing.

It’s hard for dating couples at times to reach that level of open communication. However hard it might be, it needs to be done or you will find your self in a troubled relationship which if not rectified does spell the end of the relationship.

Talk with the one you love and see what commitment means to them. Once you are on the same page so to speak, the relationship may get better.

Aviod Serial Dating

Some women get right out there and begin dating while their heart is still reeling from the shock of the failed relationship. Instead of jumping back in the frying pan, find yourself once more. There are plenty of ways to keep yourself busy while your heart is mending.

1.) Get out and enjoy a new hobby. This works wonders for your sense of well being after you experience a breakup. Crafts are always a good idea!

2.) Read a book or better yet write one! Anyone can write a book and once completed they can publish it online.

3.) Go to church if you like that sort of thing or begin to volunteer at a local organization, which needs volunteers. Food banks, libraries, habitat for Humanity, and local community agencies can always use volunteers.

4.) Sit down and write out your feelings. This not only allows you to vent but seeing your words in black and white will show you why the relationship failed and why it’s better to leave it alone. Venting also is good to keep stress levels down.

5.) Figure out what it is that you enjoyed pre-him and do it again. That will help heal your heart and help you get over him.

6.) Join an online forum to talk with others about a hobby, work or simply to make new friends. The Internet is full of forums on a wide array of topics that can help on mend a broken heart.

7.) Throw yourself into work. If that does not keep you busy, I do not know what will.

8.) Get out there and start dating when you feel like it, but take the time to find yourself and figure out what you want out of a relationship before you jump back in.

9.) Pack his crap if anything is at your house and set it on the porch. Give him a few days to remove it and if he does not remove it, take it to Good Will.

10.) Get out into the world and have some fun. Go parasailing with friends, take a class at a community college, or simply go out for a few drinks with the girls.

Do not sit and cry over that man. Chances are you’ve already cried enough over his antics and wasted enough time that way.

How to Avoid Being Clingy in a Loving Relationship

Avoiding the urge to be clingy in a relationship is hard, at times but how can we figure out how not be the clingy type? We all tend to be a bit needy at different times within your relationships but it is not fair to the other person if we act like a spoiled brat.

I am going to discuss why it is very important in a loving relationship not to be clingy and overwhelming. There is a huge difference between loving someone and controlling his or her actions, and control should never happen in a relationship.

The first thing you need to do in order to avoid being clingy is trust the other person totally. They are not like your ex, and will not do the same thing to you. Not every man or every woman is out to break your heart or steal your money. Relax and do not blow a good relationship because you feel selfish.

The second thing you need to do in order to avoid being clingy is realize that the one you love is in love with who you are. That will not change unless you continue to be selfish and that will only serve to drive that person away. Be yourself, the person they fell in love with and not the person who clings and is selfish.

  The third thing you need to do in order to avoid being clingy is keep yourself busy. When you feel like being clingy usually, it is because you are lonely and keeping busy will eliminate that need. Find a hobby, read a book, visit a friend, or clean your house from top to bottom do anything you can do to avoid being selfish.

The fourth thing you need to do in order to avoid being clingy is realize that one you love has a life which you are a part of. You are not that person's whole life and you should not consume them, for that only brings heartbreak to both of you. Do not try to consume their every waking moment of their life; they have jobs and a life outside of you.

The fifth thing you need to do in order to avoid being clingy is allow the other person to be themselves. You fell in love with that person because of whom they were, and if you cling to them for life support then you are changing them from whom you love. You should never want to change someone you love.

The sixth thing you need to do in order to avoid being clingy is realize that if you try to control the actions of the one you profess to love, you will lose that person. Let that person be him or herself. For if you try to control they will high tail it out of the relationship, as no one likes to be controlled.
There are a lost of reasons not to be clingy or selfish in a loving relationship and I hope I have convinced you not to be either.

Fairy Tale Love

Falling in love is the most wonderful feeling in the world, but it has to come naturally, if we try to rush love along or make it into something it is not, then it cannot be a fairy tale romance.

 

Love is never resentful, arrogant, or self-seeking it just is the perfect sensation in the world. Those people, who have this type of fairy tale romance, work hard at communication between each other, never allowing another to come between them in matters of the heart. Those who do not have it, often wonder why they do not have it, the answer is simple my friend, you simply have not met your soul mate yet and once you do, you will see yourself falling in love.

When you do find your soul mate, you will no doubt spend hours talking about everything and nothing, perhaps you will just sit quietly together and contemplate life lost in your own thoughts. You soon learn that with a soul mate, life is beautiful once more, and the dark clouds have seemed to fall away, and you wonder how it is that you have made it through life thus far, without them. That funny feeling in your stomach when you make eye contact means you are falling in love.

   
To be in love is the great feeling in the world, but to find that one true love which is a fairy tale romance is an indescribable feeling of utter bliss. It is like having sunshine every day, and knowing that when you do have a bad day there is someone there to hold you as you cry. It is also wonderful just thinking that someone besides your children thinks you hung the moon.

Trust me a fairy tale romance is not a figment of someone's imagination it does exist, and once you find it you never want to let it go.

What Really Defines Cheating Within a Relationship?

What really is the definition of cheating on a spouse or a partner within a personal relationship? That topic has as many answers as there are people debating it in any given situation. There are different types of cheating in a romantic affair including, emotional, physical and both types of cheating combined.
If you put a thousand people in a room debating cheating you are bound to get a thousand different answers, some similar and some quite different no doubt. What do you consider cheating to be within a personal relationship between spouses or partners?

Cheating in a Chat Room
Is going into a chat room and having a personal chat with someone of the opposite sex who is not a relative considered cheating? If the two were discussing computer, a book or the weather it would not be considered cheating but sooner of later the chat becomes of a more personal nature is heads into the gray area of cheating.

Once the chat becomes of a more personal level and feelings of an intellectual attraction are discussed is this considered cheating? This is where there is a gray area of sorts. You can like someone strictly platonically for his or her intellect and it can be an honest to goodness friendship. It is not considered cheating in most social circles.

This is not considered to be cheating in the true sense of the word, but some people would consider it cheating on a spouse or partner simply because you are in fact forming an emotional bond with someone other then your spouse or partner.

We all know that when the topic of discussion involves playful cyber sex then that gray area disappears for most people, yet some people will say it is just innocent fun. Tell that to the wife who walks in on her husband typing 'romantically' to some one named 'hotstuff694u". Now if that husband is a sweet talker he more then likely will get away with this cyber cheating.

I am not implying that only men do this type of thing, as I have personally seen both males and females engage in this particular behavior. Take this example, a man comes home unexpectedly and sees his wife sitting naked in front of her computer with an assortment of toys, he will have one of two reactions. Either he will enjoy what is taking place before him or he is going to get angry and evict her. If he partakes any form of enjoyment it is not considered cheating to him, but it sure is if he evicts her.

What would you do if you were in his shoes? Do you consider that cheating or playful fun? Would it make a difference if the person your wife were talking to male or female?

Unbelievably some people consider cyber sex with a same sex partner not to be cheating at all. I do not agree with them, if it is something that you would not do with your mother or dad in the room it is cheating. If you have to hide the relationship or even aspects about it, it is considered cheating.

Chat rooms are notorious for getting a bad rap about cheating. Yes, there is cheating going on within chat rooms I will not dispute that for a minute but there are also many people making healthy and non-healthy relationships in chat rooms every second of the day. Not every one is cheating in those rooms, but chat rooms are off limits to some simply out of the fear of chat rooms and their reputation.

After Hours Entertainment
There is nothing wrong with going a few hours to mellow out with your friends after a hard day at work when you are single. However when a husband goes out with the boys after work when he is a family man, that usually means he is cheating to most people especially if he works with a lot of women.

Technically, it is a gray area because it is a group activity or more then three or four people. Unless he is pairing up with one female, it would not be considered cheating by most accounts.
When that husband pairs up with a female for activities within the group, then it slides further into the gray area and things may be getting blurry. As long as no personal information or touching is, taking place it is not considered cheating. All bets are off once the topic turns personal or touching happens by chance. An affair is in the works and cheating will be occurring unless the two people take responsible steps to curb the mutual attraction.

Personal Meetings
Personal private meetings between two people who are married to other people often mean cheating is occurring. That is just plain common sense and if your spouse if doing this then you need to take your stand and stop it. Perhaps you cannot stop the affair, remember this, it will not be an affair if you end the marriage right there.

In an emotional affair, cheating is defined when personal issues come forth to create an emotional bond, and we all know the physical cheating affair. Both types of cheating can be deadly to a marriage or relationship.

Living Together Vs. Getting Married Right Away

Couples who have dated for more then 6 months and are thinking about marriage in the future should live together first for many reasons. This trail period allows them to see if they can get along on a day-to-day basis. They see the little quirks firsthand and can determine if they can deal with it before its nuptial time.

Couples who live together before they are married have a great opportunity to see exactly how their future spouse will be like after the wedding day beforehand. Perhaps he leaves the cap of the toothpaste or she squeezes it from the middle, while those things will not bother most people, some couples will fight over this. There are no surprises like that if a couple lives together first.

It used to be frowned upon to live together acting as husband and wife if you were not married but times have changed. Times have changed and many people cannot live on one income, so pooling those incomes as early as possible helps everyone involved. Money is a huge thing married couple's fight over, and by living together first, you are giving this aspect of married life a trail run as well.

Too many single parents realize it is not just them dating; they are in a way dating the children involved. If those children do not like the other adult, they will create problems with in the relationship. By living together first single parents can have a trail run to see if things will work out with the children who are very much part of the equation.

Couples who live together before the wedding have stronger marriages in my opinion because they truly know each other and do not go into the marriage blindly, as those couples who do not live together often do.

When couples do not live together, everything is a surprise after the wedding. Too many of us try to change our spouses' habits if we do not like this and this sets up for a bad marriage from the start. A neat freak cannot live happily with a slob, and if you are married, you have either to deal with it or be miserable.

Too many times when we settle into a day-to-day routine with a spouse without having lived with them first, problems arise. At times, these problems are easy to get over yet at other times they are insurmountable.

This makes for miserable people who feel stuck in a relationship with nowhere to turn. Had they lived together ahead of the nuptials they would not have those awful surprises.
I believe a couple should live together before marriage so if the differences between the two are too great they can get out of the relationship without having to go through a messy divorce.